Just watched the movie "A Walk to Remember" again. The first time I caught this movie was in school, but I wasn't concentrating during the first quarter half of it since I was playing chess with Pauline. So yeah, watched it again. It's so sad. But really good, amazing, I would say.

Love the songs that was sung during the movie. They were so amazing. It's called Only Hope and Cry, if I didn't remember the titles wrongly. So yeah, if you haven't watch this movie yet, it's one you can consider when you are free.

Finally completed 100 laps of freestyle at one go at Tampines Swimming Complex on Saturday. That's 5km people! Woohoooo! (:

I realised that I have gotten back into the habit of blogging. Sigh, I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.

I continued to pack my room this morning, but still didn't managed to finish the packing yet. Around 3pm, I went over to Shop & Save to buy some stuff to bake brownies since I promised to bake some for Nick as X'mas gift. The baking was seriously scary. Cause I usually bake in this oven toaster thingy, but its size is rather small. I forgot all about it and poured the brownie mix into this really big pan. And since it's a big pan, obviously it couldn't fit into the small oven. So I had to bake it in the microwave oven instead. Well, my microwave oven can actually bake stuff (it can also grill, etc), but I hadn't tried it before and didn't know which controls to press. So I guessed which controls to press and place the pan inside to bake. During the whole baking time, I would sit just slightly outside the kitchen staring at the numbers on the microwave oven, listening to the loud noises coming from it, hoping that I pressed the correct controls, and that it wouldn't explode. But I didn't dare to wander off too far, just in case that it really does explode, and a fire happens, maybe I would be able to stop it before it burns my kitchen. I'm damn weird right? Sigh, but at the end of the day, I did manage to bake those brownies although they didn't seem very successful. But Nick said that they didn't taste bad so I shall just trust his words and believe that he didn't say that merely to pacify my worries over how they tasted. Oh, and there's one really funny part, I couldn't find a proper tupperware or sorts to keep the brownies in to give to Nick. And the only tupperware I could find had some kiddish cartoons on them. Lol xD So before I gave them to him, I made him promise not to laugh first.

Had dinner with Nick at Pepper Lunch before he rushed down to his grandma's house. So I travelled back home too. Then at whitesands, my mum asked me to buy some glutinous rice balls and flour, pandan leaves and pink sugar for her. However, NTUC didn't have any more pandan leaves and pink sugar. I think I saw Aly and Mel while I was leaving, but not too certain whether or not it really was them.

Right now, I am playing chess with a chess senior of mine from primary school. Rather difficult to play. Currently in a rather stuck situation. Actually it isn't that bad since both of us are rather equal in the number of pieces and position on board. Sigh... Hmmmm,I actually enjoy playing this way again although I'm not really concentrating. Perhaps I should make an effort and contact my ex-coaches again. They were really good, at least in coaching me I guess. Did improve tremendously under them. Grrrr... Accidentally refreshed my page so got signed out of the game. >.< Grrrr, so we have to restart the whole game again. Sigh, and now she has to leave the game cause she can't use the com any longer. Sigh... An incomplete game... Sigh...

I am having lunch together with my family tomorrow so shall pack my room in the morning. Then after lunch, I shall grab the laptop and go over to mac to read and do my cousin's work. If I stay at home any longer, nothing will ever get done. Sigh... Then maybe in the evening I shall go swimming again. I just went swimming on Friday. I am extremely pleased with myself. I covered a total of 64laps of the 50m pool, so thats 3.2km. Not bad at all. Shall try doing 80laps next time. Oh, but the last time I went to the pool, the staff member at the pool stopped me before I entered cause she wanted to check my id to ensure that I really was 16. You have to pay for an adult's ticket if you are above 17(it's more expensive). Then when I was entering the pool, there was this group of guys (most prob in a swimming cca) doing laps. While I was applying sunscreen lotion (I get sunburn really easily), I saw this stupid guy smirking at me. I bet he thought that I went there only to look nice. Idiot.

Hmmm, bored now. Might as well sleep earlier. Goodnight and sweet dreams everyone.

I'm currently watching this wuxia drama series, the Zhang Wuji one. I have come to a conclusion that either the person who wrote the script or the director must have disliked the character of Song Qing Shu a lot. And I totally agree with it. When I first read the book, Song Qing Shu was the most irritating pathetic character ever.

I just received a Christmas card from a long time friend of mine, one that I had lost touch with. It is sweet to receive it, in fact a little nostalgic. At the same time, it reminds me that I still owe Zhenyi a christmas card. Hmmmm... Must go look for a card and post it soon. However I think it might still reach her a little late, knowing my procrastination.

My mum is currently talking to me while I am typing. She is telling me to go pierce my ears soon. Lol xD (I mentioned to her before about piercing my ears soon [she actually gave me the go-ahead many years back] ) She even said that it would be alright for me to go to SK Jewelry to buy a pair of diamond earrings. Right, my mum is kinda weird, but in a pretty cool way. Love her to bits even though she nags about the state of my room a little too often.

There's a little difference to me this month. I have decided that it is time for me to take a greater step towards independence. Which also means no more monthly pocket money from my parents. I'm working to pay my own bills, etc. I guess it's a little extreme, I mean, being only a 16yr old, it sounds a little crazy. And this "no more pocket money" thing does not stop after the hols end. This is the part that I am a little worried and insecure about. How am I going to handle both school stuff next year and work? Lol, but nevermind. I guess things will most prob work out by then.[There's also this niggling thought about who gonna pay for my trip to SK Jewelry, I mean, my mum will most prob roll her eyes and say she will if I ask, but I don't feel like asking. Does that even make sense?]

These few days, I am getting a little more healthy - usually swim once per week. And this has been rather successful so far. I usually can cover around 2 to 3 km each time. I am hoping to be able to find time to cover 5km soon. I believe that I have the physical fitness to do so, just not enough time to hang about in the pool. There are actually quite a lot of interesting stories to tell about my swimming, but currently too lazy to talk about any of those funny tales.

However, there is a part of my health that is worrying me out. These few days I usually feel really dizzy and lightheaded. I am not sure what is causing it, but it certainly isn't the usual flu or fever (since I'm not down with anything). But this dizziness is really bad, and it has been around for nearly a week. Perhaps I should see a doctor soon to check what could cause it. Maybe it is my diet, I don't have much of an appetite these few days. Hardly been eating any food.

Back to Christmas. I was taking dinner by myself at Whitesands after work just few days back. Then after eating, I was walking down the escalator when I heard some music. Yeah, the crazy person in me who is attracted to most sort of music like a moth to a light, immediately went to look for the source of the sound. Apparently it was a string sixtet playing some christmas carols. It wasn't a very masterful performance, but still somehow reminded me of Christmas being the season of giving. If you haven't realised it by now, I am an extremely selfish person by nature. Giving doesn't come easy to me, but somehow I felt like doing something, a gesture during this special season.

I'm starting to feel really lonely these few times. Not that I need accompaniment of friends by my side, but somehow I don't feel safe about people. Thinking about it, I don't think I make many friends. Most of my friends seemed to be made through my already made friends, so we happen to run in the same few circles, and sort of become friends. I know it isn't a very big thing, I mean I bet most ppl make friends that way too, but I somehow take greater notice because at the end of the day, somehow I feel that there aren't much ppl that I will ever turn to when I need a shoulder to cry or a ear to listen to my grumblings. I know the friends I have won't turn me away, but it is just whether or not I will want to turn to them, but somehow I don't feel that emotional connection to them to make me feel that I can put down this stupid fence that I built around me to show the stupid emotional wreck I am in.

My mum just said something along the lines about how old I am already but yet so stupid (in a joking tone). Cause she apparently bought some fruits and I forgot the name of those fruits (persimmons). Bleargh, my memory seems to be getting worse, perhaps I should start training my memory again (My coach trained my memory the last time.) And my mum actually told my dad to play a game with her, of whom the loser will have to make coffee for the other person. You know what the game is about? There were two persimmons left on the plate. The game is for them to take one each and aim at me. The person who manages to hit me with the persimmon will wim. Totally childish right? Can't believe that my mum is hitting her fifties already. And she has been playing many of her kind of games these few days.

It's past midnight already, so I shall just stop my ramblings, though I doubt anyone would even bother to read it. So an early merry christmas to all of you. May you all be blessed.

I woke up really early this morning, around 5am, to study. When I signed onto the internet, I found out that Roger Federer had lost his match. It was rather disppointing, since I kinda supported him. sigh....

Well, I first saw Federer's match, say, few years back, I recall myself being awed by his awesome play. For someone like me who trip over my legs a little too often(I nearly tripped over four times today, but that's another story), he is really amazing. However, like the usual me who have an enormous problem remembering people's names and faces, I forgot his name and face pretty fast. Heh, but I always remembered that there was this one guy on the courts that I really liked.

The first guy player name that I actually remembered was Rafael Nadal's name. Oh joy, the person who defeated who I was supporting. I remembered his name, partly because I was watching the sports news then, and they were announcing the results between them in some rather ancient match. So I totally got caught on like "Hey, this is someone who's nearly on the same level as Federer."

Well, to say the truth, I do like both of them a lot. However, if I have to choose, I will say that I prefer Federer to him though. I think it was because of some photo they took of him while he was in a game, and it caused me to take notice of him. I cannot really remember why I took notice of that photo though. Shall look it up on the net some other time. Anyway, I was reading some articles of an interview after the match, and Federer said something along the lines of "I may have lost this match, but I'm not going to have over the number one title that easily" (can't really recall his exact words)and that he was going to win two other big matches that will be coming up soon and show that he is still someone to reckon with on the courts. Upon reading that, I was like "That's right! Show it to them! Go man!" Haha xD

I believe that this defeat did not go well with him since he's really good on grass and yet he lost on grass, so it's rather like a smack on his face. And furthermore, the way he chased up on his points in the later sets was really wow unbelievable. It was truly a great final match. However, in every match, there can only be one winner. So, it must have been a rather big blow on him. But well, I still wish to say that I still really really support him, and still totally think he's damn amazing, and that I have absolute belief that he is one player that walks the talk. Meaning, Rafael Nadal had better not put his guard down.

Go ROGER FEDERER! =)

WOOOHOOOOO! Both Candice and I won first in the Trexi Design Competition. This win was so totally unexpected! I mean, the entry was due on the day we were having exams on. I remember I had two exams - of which one was geog. So, at first, we had intentions on dropping out. Then Ms Siow was like, "No, you can just submit a really simple piece, but still must submit." So we had agreed that we would not spend more than 3 hours doing up the design and everything. Lol, when Ms Siow told us that we got into top 10 from over thousand entries, we were totally surprised.

So we got invited to the prize ceremony, but the top 3 would only be released today during the ceremony. So both of us went there, totally cheerful and high. We saw the entries, and thought that some of them were wayway good and cute. We joined in the guess-the-winner contest, and selected ours! HAHA. And then for the other two categories, chose this entry from rgs(which got second), and another one from another school(which got first).

xD So while we sat down and waited for the ceremony to start, I was looking at the awards. And you know what? The Trexi trophies are SOSOSO KAWAII!!! It's totally cute! Everyone liked the Trexi trophies. They are shaped like trexi toys! The hands can move!!! I remember myself telling Candice that I would really really love to just get a third, no need for a second or first, just to have one of those kawaii trophies. Our category results were announced first. They started with the merit awards, seven in total, in no specific order. The first one that came out totally shocked us. We thought that it was quite good. So did the second and third, so on so forth. So well, you know how high level the designs were, and what a close fight it was. Then it suddenly got to the 6th merit prize, and we weren't called yet. Then we were like, cross our fingers, pray that the next name isn't ours. HAHA. And it wasn't. Both me and Candice look at each other in total surprise. WAHHHH! TOP 3!!! Then we were so excited. My pulse rate started increasing really really fast. And we weren't the third either. Both of us had this really incredulous, unbelievable look on our face by then. When the Top 2 result was announced, we were like, "This is our category results right? We got into Top 10 right? So our names ought to be called sooner or later right? But it isn't called yet and there's only first left! We can't possibly have gotten first right?" Then we GOT FIRST! LIKE TOTALLY WOOHOOO!

So we went up and got that totally kawaii trophy, the envelope with our cheques and certificate, and took shots! LALALA, i'm still on adrenaline high! Candice's father took lots and lots of photos of us. Haha! I want to see the photos too! I don't have any with the kawaii trophy though since it's now with Candice. Candice, send photos up soo okay??? xD

And then for the guess the winners contest, Candice won $50. So together, we won $400! Each of us win ourselves $200! YAYY! There's no more need for me to starve myself too much to save money now!!! Both of us were saying that there will most probably be this competition again next year. Hope that they will allow JC students to take part, although I kind of doubt so since all entries were secondary school students. Nvm, perhaps by next year, they will have a special category for the JC students. If there is, then lo and behold, we shall try again most probably! =D

Lalala. After that, we had this small little buffet, and we talked a little to Mrs Shirley Tan, then some organising event people came up to congratulate us. So many commented that they liked the trophy and that it was totally cute! Yeh! See, thats how kawaii the trexi trophy is. I'm not very sure if the school is going to keep it, but I really really hope they weren't. It is WAYWAY too cute to leave in school. PLEASE RETURN TO US!

After the small little buffet, Candice, her father and myself were commenting on the cosplay events. Some costumes were so REAL-LOOKING seriously! And there was this gorilla cosplyer that brought three of us to laughters. Then, there was a DDR game going on nearby when we were walking away. There was this ahem horizontally-challenged guy who was dancing on it. But he was so good. He did not miss a single one and everything was like good, perfect marvellous. HE was so freaking fast too. But candice was saying, "He must not have practiced much, or he probably would have lost plenty of weight." Lol, evil meanie Candy. ;) Well, I doubt i'm even up to 1/4 of his ability. Heh.

Later on, I met up with Pauline and we went on looking at the exhibitions. Got a few posters. Pauline really has all the luck with her. She kept getting special freebies sent into her way. She got like this sticker, this toy and magazine. haha. Then we wanted to play some games, but all the games booths were really packed. Then there was one which was really empty. I think everyone was too caught up with the surroundings and the booth looked boring, so no one noticed that THERE WAS A GAME IN THERE! We asked the woman taking care of the booth if we could play and she taught us how to. So we started playing. Our first try with table tennis was really errr, atrocious. This guy standing behind us was laughing. HMPH! That was because we didn't know how to play at first. Later on, we thrashed the com alright! Hmph! So while we were playing, well, people started getting attracted to the booth, since both of us are ooh, having so much fun laughing at ourselves. So later, after a while, we kinda stopped playing, feeling that we ought to give other people a chance to play too. Haha. So we left, but I bet the people manning the stall was so grateful that we appeared. Cause for no apparent reason, halfway through playing, I suddenly felt as if I was promoting to some other people looking in. I meant that I started explaining some of the game instructions to them! Like WHAT?! Then I realised it halfway while so excitedly sharing to them about what we were playing, and exclaimed, "oh my, I sound like I'm promoting this!" And those people laughed and joked saying the booth people should pay us if they actually purchased it.

So me and pauline went on our way looking at the figurines, and comics for a while and taking some photos of really kawaii stuff. I realised that pauline supports L(in Death Note) while I prefer Light. Light is so hot!!!

Some photos from walking around:























So Pauline and I left the convention centre around 4pm. And till now, I'm still in a hyper good mood. Lol, I went on to tell my younger bro and my parents of this really superb news. I think I totally redeemed my really lousy results in my portfolio with this win! LALALA! Three cheers and three cheers and three cheers to candy! Thanks to you, I don't think my portfolio look very bad right now! HAHA! And thanks to all who came down to support us too! Love all of you lots!

So anyway, during our concert, we had a total of four combined pieces that were performed with four different guest conductors. During the rehearsal before the concert, we had to try a run-through with the conductors. So anyway, I felt that our school conductor went WAYWAY out of her line.

Over these years of studying music and performing, there is something that I have realised. Being in an orchestra is never just about you. Yup, there may be solos once in a while during a certain song, but what is key is usually the overall sound created. The harmony between the different sounds that are created. For this balance of music to occur, for any players within an orchestra, listening to the music, looking at your conductor, understanding what sound the conductor wishes to create is your duty for taking up a seat in this orchestra.

The players have a responsibility to perform when they decided to be in the orchestra. And the conductor has the responsibility for sourcing out these different sounds created by the orchestra and weaving them together. The role of the conductor is not just to keep time. What a conductor can do is so so much more.

First, the music piece. I believe that no matter how much a music score was rearranged to better suit the orchestra or the particular sound that the conductor or arranger would like to create, they CANNOT neglect the original meaning of the music that the COMPOSER wishes to express. This piece would not have existed without the composer, therefore making it only right for the composer's intent to be intact. Different conductors and arrangers of a piece may have understood the piece slightly differently, hence resulting in the so many different kinds of a certain piece being played all over. However, even so, they had not ignored the composer's intent. And I believe, possibly, no one other than the composer can ever perform a piece exactly in the way the composer wishes to express himself in, since the piece was composed by himself.

Secondly, harmony. Harmony between the sounds. In an orchestra, regardless of how much a player disagrees with the conductor on how a piece is performed, one must know that the conductor hears it all. Therefore, no matter the situation, one should always follow the conductor's tempo, rhythm, accents, etc. Therefore, if the orchestra does not perform well under such a scenario, it is the conductor's fault for his lack of skill in bringing these players together, in bringing these counds together to create a harmony, the precarious balance between. His lack of understanding of the piece and the orchestra, or any particular character traits within him may very well prohibit the orchestra from performing to its very best.

If one performs a piece of music in any way one feels like, it is an insult to the piece, to the composer, to all who listened to the piece, to all who played this piece before, to all wo had spent effort in pursuing that one perfect sound.

I felt that our current conductor lacks in her understanding and conducting skills. She does have lots of potential, but she always always never ever improved much over the years, because of her unwillingness to change. She says that she is going to make us improve by learning from the Bandung group, but really is she learning from them? I would say that she is the one person in the whole orchestra that is prohibiting the orchestra in improving further. During the rehearsal with the guest conductors, she kept butting her head in when the other conductor was conducting. She would suddenly stop the whole orchestra and say that something was badly played or what, then later rearrange a few parts of the pieces, insist that a particular instrument is played at the beginning, etc. It seemed more like she was the one conducting instead of the guest conductor. In the end, the whole piece sounded more like her than the original way that it was played. Seriously, her actions were totally rude to the conductor. How can she, when the conductor of this piece was conducting, step in so suddenly, clap her hands and say stop and start commenting. How can she arrange the piece in the way she likes, when this piece of music was meant to be expressed in the way the guest conductor wants it to be expressed in? The piece that was meant to be performed with the guest conductor belongs to the expression of the guest conductor and not her. Her actions were a total insult to the orchestra and guest conductors. How can there be two conductors on the stage, and whats more worse, that the stage for this particular song never belonged to her in the very first place?

I was standing near the back, and I was so pissed. The guests conductors were really nice people. Everyone could see that they were really irritated with her rude impolite ways and that they were really controlling their tempers. But personally, I don't think they should. They had every single right to chase her off the stage.I would even cheer when they do so. Seriously, we are the hosts, you know. Doing such a thing is really wayway over the limit.

She likes things to be big and loud always. But music need not always have to be big and loud for it to be good. The best music is one that can cause the audience listening in to feel touched and tingled by the sounds, to feel as if this particular emotion is slowly overtaking them and their senses. The softest sound, the highest pitch, the weakest quavering note, can easily bring a listener right next to the cliff edge. And that's that.

What it means to be part of an orchestra is really simple to me. Never overstep beyond your boundaries, but always ensure that you have completed all your responsibilities to the very best. Ensuring your instrument is in tip-top condition, ensuring your health does not affect your performance, ensuring that you have learnt your pieces well, ensuring that you follow your conductors, and if you are one of the seniors, guide you juniors in understanding what the music score wishes to say, and what the conductor wishes to express.

My cca has just ended for the sec4s. I will most probably not be playing the angklung in an orchestra ever again. There are many regrets that I have had over the years in my study of music, especially in giving up on the piano early this year. However, I have no intention to let this sound that I have always been pursuing after to die off. One day, one day, I will find this sound again. It can sound weak, quaver, but at the very least, I will ensure that it lives.

I promised an entry on the symposium and concert, as Candice has so kindly informed me on her latest post.

So here it is.

The inaugural Angklung symposium started on the 16th of June, and lasted for two days only. I was a little upset with that it was so close to the reopening of school, seeing that I hardly done any revision or completed any homework yet. We were all shuffled together with other participants in other schools in groups, and this great amazing intelligent lady here was in Group 2! {Applause here}

Later on in the afternoon, we had ice breakers smong the group to know each other better. My group is a little too quiet for my liking! No one wanted to share embarressing moments or gossips. Sigh, two favourite pastimes of mine got a little dampened. I had so many things to say, but since everyone was rather quiet, I thought that I ought to hold on for a while.

Then we had practice sessions. I learnt pretty much this time. It was a lot more confusing than the usual score reading, since the pitch of the note matters now. However, overall, if such a method could be used, I agree that it would, in a way, revolutionise the current playing level in Singapore.

The second day was a lot more hectic with lots more emotions. Our instructor, Kak Faridah, was started arranging us on the stage. After that, we had a talk on how to allow Angklung to remain relevant in today's digital age. Then a break, a little of practice continued from the day before, then a little of station games again.

I was SOSOSO accident prone these few days, I overstrained my wrist on the first day, and cut myself a little badly on my thigh the second day. It was during the station games. Our first stop was in the hall, up on the temporary stage. When we were coming down the stage, i sat on the edge, and wanted to slide down it slowly. What I didn't realise was that there was a staple bullet sticking out. So when I slide down, it gave me a cut of around 7cm. What's worse, LO and BEHOLD everyone, was that though I felt the pain and was hobbling around for a while, I thought it would probably be only a slight scratch, not knowing truly how bad it was until after the whole game ended, after lunch, when I felt the cut sting a little and asked the two next to me. And then they freaked out. They said it look like some scar, or some sort of operation wound. So three of us hopped over to the General Office for some medical supplies to disinfect it. Deb, Hannah and some other people met us along the way there, and so they hang around us for a while. The wound was at this really awkward angle. So obviously someone had to help me clean and bandage it. It was so obscene. I mean, the scene of Deb helping me was a little tad too weird for words. Because, as I had mentioned earlier about the angle, I had to raise my feet, and she had to bend down near to my legs to help to do it. Xin er was there, fanning the fire, cooing and taking photos. Then Ms Christina at the office couldn't stop laughing too. Yes, great, I am so glad to be caught in such a compromising position. A male teacher walked past the General Office and I believe he saw it too, but not knowing the true situation at hand, his face had a rather shocked expression. Blessed me, there goes my innocent image forever.

Then after that, we had our concert preperation finally starting. I have a lot more to say about the preperation, which I will talk about in my next post, as this one seems a little too long already. Anyway, I managed to get my best friend, Wenjie, to come down for it. Something that kind of depressed me was that I had not once received a flower despite performing so many times. And this time, during my last concert in this school, I got my FIRST flower ever. Yayy! Actually, I kind of asked him to get me. The whole thing was rather amusing.

[Pls note that the meaning was smthg along like that, and not the actualy words...]
So I was smsing him, then I was like, "Could you get me a flower please? Cause I had not once received a flower before for any preformances." Then he replied " flowers? -_-" " Then after a little badgering, he didn't say anything anymore. So I kind of told Candice and Samantha about it, and asked them if they thought I will be receiving a flower later or not.

Then later, Wenjie reached the school before the concert started, and I smsed him asking if he got me a flower. Then, he was replied saying that it was embarressing to purchase one. Both Candice and Samantha then continued to comment that he was such a prude if he didn't. Later on, after the concert ended, I was telling him about it, he didn't really seem pleased about the "prude" comment. Maybe more like a little indignant about it. Lol, actually I wanted him to stay longer after the concert, but he thought that it would be rather awkward to stay longer with me, so he left. But really, THANK YOU SO MUCH for that first flower. Three cheers to our friendship! YIPPY!

Sending to my class yahoogroups didn't seem to attract anyone to pay attention, so thought that perhaps posting up here might. Even thought I doubt it will. But nevermind.




Anyone who's interested, you may email me or drop me a comment under this post. I will get back to you on how you can pay me and how you can collect your ticket.

Thats all.

(Sigh, this blog is seriously dead already.)